• Emma-Jane

The Reality of Puppy Blues

One year ago was the start of the hardest week of my life, which is hard to believe as I sit here writing this with my best friend on my lap.

I'd been wanting a puppy since I can remember, swooning over every little floof that crossed my path. After getting the full support I needed from those around me, I pursued my search for my Cavapoo puppy.

We were on multiple waiting lists and had our 'ideal' breeder in mind, but I was getting impatient and conscious of when we'd be returning to office... After initially avoiding Pets4Homes for obvious reasons, we came across the most perfect litter of pups on there.

Within 24 hours of enquiring, myself and the breeder had already bonded and after multiple texts and calls, we eventually facetimed the breeder and met our pup with his mum. We knew 'Smartie' was the one and organised coming to the house to meet the litter in person.

From that day on, Smartie was known as Rupert and he was officially going to be ours.

With our pick-up date confirmed, I began researching, watching vlogs and training videos to ensure I was as ready as I could be. But how wrong I was, because nothing can ever prepare you for the first few months of a new pup.

I would check my countdown app daily, waiting for the day I could finally go and get my boy. It wasn't until this little life was in my hands, that the real fear set in.

Was I really ready for this? Was I capable of looking after this little pup?

I was about to take on the biggest commitment of my life. I was officially responsible for this dog and it took me a while to come to terms with this. There was so much unknown, even with all the researching I'd done. My daily routine was flipped upside down; from 3pm lie ins to 6:30am crying alarms.

Of course anxiety is normal in these circumstances, but my body took this to a whole other level. The first week I spent in tears, quite literally didn't stop crying. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep even though I was sleep deprived, absolutely terrified of doing things 'wrong' (like there's even a 'right' way to do things)... For the few few days, I considered taking him back to the breeder, something I still punish myself over to this day. How could I EVER have considered giving him back? But it's not an uncommon thought to have during this time.

I knew I wanted to document his journey and so creating a Instagram account allowed me to make a digital scrapbook. As superficial as this may seem, I couldn't even bring myself to post or share him within the first week. Oh how I wish I did, because the online dog community is more supportive than I could have ever imagined.

Everyone says it's hard, but no one can really prepare you. I was fortunate enough to have experienced people around me to confide in, but every pup is different, and so what works for someone may not work for you. There's a lot of trial and error in the first few months and that's ok - you're finding your feet and so is your pup. You make compromises and learn to live in a new way (even if that involves a certain fluffy someone sleeping in your bed)... Everyone says it gets easier and in the moment, it's hard to believe. You're not alone in feeling like this. But it really does get better and easier. It will soon be the best.

For as long as I can remember, getting a dog is all I've barked on about (excuse the pun...). I'd go on walks, practicing holding a lead like a loser. I'd be that annoying girl staring at your dog and asking to pet them...

I've officially had Rupert for a year and wow has time flown by. My little timid puppy is now a confident, friendly and affectionate floof and yes, I feel like a proud mum. He brings joy to everyone around him and is such a loveable boy. I've been pushed out of my comfort zone, made to face my anxieties; whether that’s forcing myself to get out the house for his sake, to being social at the dog park. There's not a day goes by where I don't look at him in disbelief that he's mine. I feel like the luckiest dog mum. The companionship makes those work from home days that less bit lonely. The comfort he gives me when he knows I'm depressed or distressed. The kisses and cuddles; He saves me on a daily basis and I feel so lucky to have him.

I now can't imagine this ugly world without this beautiful boy.

For cute pooch pics, don't forget to follow Mr. Ru on Instagram... @rupertthecavapoo_

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